Let me ask you something. If I walk up to you and say "Five"🔢 — what comes to mind?🤔
- 5k for transport?
- 5 missed calls from your mum?
- 5 hours spent in Lagos traffic just to move 2 kilometers?
Exactly. That number means nothing until I give it context. And that, my friend, is where data begins.
I'm not a data scientist with a fancy foreign degree. I'm just someone who has nearly wept trying to get Excel to sort names without scrambling phone numbers. So when we talk about what makes "data" actually data, we're doing this with Zobo in hand, not wine.
So what makes data, data?🙋♀️
Let's break it down in a way that doesn't require a PhD or a trip to Silicon Valley.
1. It needs "wetin concern me?🤷♀️" factor
If I tell you "The price of rice is ₦85,000 per bag" — that's just a fact. Sad, but still just a fact.
But if I say "Rice prices have gone up 40% in the last three months, and sales have dropped because everybody is now eating garri and praying" — NOW that's data. Because it tells a story. It compares. It judges the economy. It makes you feel something.
Without context, you don't have data. You have a trauma trigger.🤒
2. It must be slightly gossipy🦜
Facts are boring. Data is gist with evidence.
Raw fact: "Aso Rock got new furniture." — Who cares?
Data: "Aso Rock spent ₦500 million on furniture this quarter, which is 200% more than last year, while the Ministry of Education bought chalk with pocket change."
See? Now we have something to discuss at the saloon. Data is facts that come with receipts and attitude.
3. It must fit into a container🥤 (not like Lagos traffic)
You know how you can't pack agbada, plantain, and a generator into one Ghana-Must-Go bag🛍 without it tearing? Same with data.
If your information is scattered everywhere — WhatsApp forwards, voice notes, random paper notes, your cousin's "I think so" — it's not data. It's noise.
Data is what happens when you finally sit down, open a spreadsheet (or even just a notebook)🖥, and say: "Let me arrange this thing properly." If you can't put it in rows and columns without losing your mind, it's not data. It's just vibes. And vibes don't pay bills.
4. The "Market Woman" test🧪
Imagine you go to Balogun Market. One seller just throws all her goods on the table — shoes, tomatoes, phone chargers, and pure water — all mixed up. Is that data?
No. That's a disaster.🙀
Now imagine another seller: all shoes on the left, all tomatoes sorted by size, chargers arranged by type, and pure water neatly stacked. That woman is data-driven. She can tell you exactly what sells fastest, what time customers come, and which days are slow.
Data = Organization. Chaos = "Oya come and check am na" — which is not a strategy.
5. It must cause argument at family👨👩👦👦 gatherings
Real data has power💪. It starts conversations. It starts fights.
If you tell your uncle at a family meeting: "Data shows that 70% of young Nigerians prefer remote work," he will immediately argue, quote his own "research" (i.e., what he heard on BBNaija), and tell you about how in his day, people worked from 7am to 7pm and survived.
That moment? That's when data becomes data. Because it's being analyzed, debated, and used to prove whatever point somebody already believed.
The Final Gist🏁
So what makes data, data?
It's not numbers. It's not facts. It's context, organization, and comparison.✅
A number is just a number. A fact is just something you heard. But data is information that tells a story — usually a story about why prices are going up, why we need to buy more, or why someone in management needs to be gently reminded that NEPA isn't an excuse anymore.
So next time you open a spreadsheet, don't just see rows and columns. See the story. See the pattern. And if you don't see any pattern? Just add a chart. Charts make everything look official.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go analyze the data on how many times NEPA took light💡 this week. The results are... heartbreaking. And the generator is getting angry.😂
Image credit: ChatGpt
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